Friday May 26, 2017 at 1:16 pm
FUN

It happens to the best of us. Bad beats happen. Sometimes Las Vegas can be "Suckout City" and you run super-bad at the tables. But what do you do when you run out of cash, but still have a day or more to kill? Here's a click-bait-worthy listicle with the Top 5 Things to Do in Vegas When You Go Busto.

VegasSignSelf

No money? No problem! Actually, hold on a second. I'm totally wrong there. Las Vegas is probably the last city on Earth you do not want to be broke it. Trust me. It's a city of despair and desolation when you hit the skids and lose your entire bankroll. But instead of making terrible decisions that you will regret later, we compiled a nifty list of the best of the best of things to do when you go broke.

Nothing is worse than a Vegas trip when you run out of cash before the trip ends... especially if you have a couple of days to kill. You could sit around and mope around your hotel room (if you still have one), or you can do one or more of these easy things you can do to pass the time when you go busto and broke.

Here's the 2017 version of the Top 5 Things to Do in Vegas When You Go Busto...

 

1. People watching

It's one of my favorite past times. Drop me off in any major city, and I can get lost for hours simply watching people walk by. Las Vegas has plenty to look at too. Locals. Tourists. Pretty people. Shithoused millennials. Old people carting around oxygen tanks. Plus, the late-night freak show. Just like the song says... the freaks come out at night. If you go busto and it's after Midnight, just find a spot to chillax and soak up the late-night scene. If you really want to get a glimpse of the bottom rung of society, go ride the bus! It will take forever to go down the Strip, but you might get to chat up a local homeless person and make a new friend.

 

2. Take selfies.

Eh, you went busto. Time to take dope selfies to make all your friends back home super jealous! You can go to the infamous "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. Head out to Las Vegas Blvd. just south of the Mandalay Bay/Tropicana. The city added a parking lot now, so it's easy to access. Snap away with your favorite filter. Other cool places to take selfies include the Bellagio for the flower garden and Chihuly glass ceiling, and downtown Vegas for all the riff raff.

 

3. Red Rock Canyon.

Head up to one of the most majestic parks in the Western United States. Most tourists, heck even locals, have no idea about Red Rock Canyon. You'll need a car and a few bucks to pay for entry. But, it's worth it. You can take a hike, or if you're a lazy mofo, you can just drive along the scenic route. Tokers love to blaze up on the 13-mile journey, while cranking their favorite tunes. Some well-deserved time out in nature will do wonders to realign your chakras. You will realize that your degenerate gambling problems are a mere drop in the bucket compared to how old the Earth is and how long it took to turn those rocks into such a unique shade of red.

 

4. Go to a movie.

If you need to kill two hours to guarantee that you will not gamble, you can always go to a movie. Not too many options on the Strip aside from the UA Showcase theatre that's tucked away from the MGM. Plenty of options off the Strip. The Palms, a short walk to the Rio Casino, has a movie theater complex with IMAX. You can find movie theaters at most major local casinos like the Stations casinos (e.g. Red Rock, Green Valley, Sunset Station). Don't forget about Village Square 18.

 

5. Beg for free drinks.

Sounds pathetic. And it is. But, let's face it... if you go to Vegas and lose every single dollar on you... you're definitely a loser. Hey, we've all been there. It happens. Which means it's such a universal thing that plenty of other people can easily sypathzise with your bad run of cards, or horses, or dice, or whatever. Simply wander through any casino and find a bar near the sports book, or close to a craps table. It helps if you are reasonably well dressed and are not a complete asshole, because it will be easier to find a sympathetic stranger who will buy you a drink. Tell them the truth... you're a shitty poker player who went busto. But make sure you have at least one funny story to tell. The more stories the better. If you can be a raconteur, you can drink for free all night.

If you know how to play the guitar, even if it's a couple of chords, then here's your chance to busk for tourists on Las Vegas Blvd, while you sing your heart out for enough spare change to get a cheap buffet and a couple of beers. If you're lucky, maybe a generous tourist will kick you down pharmaceutical drugs!

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