It's been a while since a good Phil Hellmuth meltdown. I mean, at this point it's like watching a car wreck on the 405... you're irked that you have to pass by it, but you cannot help but to look at the carnage.
Sometimes it's good to watch other people take a bad beat. It's a reminder that the universe is much bigger than yourself and that the poker gods have it in for other people, not just you. It seems like bad beats follow you around every time you sit down to play poker or every time you fire up the online poker account (seems like it happens every other minute in the virtual world). Just like Phil Hellmuth, you will incur more bad beats than the average person because you're a better poker player than an average person and will be in hands more often than not when you're ahead. Alas, bad beats happen. Variance rears its ugly head and sometimes a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.
The best of the best are able to put the bad beats out of their mind and move on to the next hand. It's important to dwell upon your hand histories after the game, but it's vital to put the worst beats out of your head ASAP in order to recalibrate and focus. The moment you get sidetracked is the moment you're on tilt. And the longer you're not on top of your optimal game, the longer you're on tilt and susceptible for the littlest of mistakes.
Has Hellmuth taken more beats than anyone else in the history of poker? Yes, but that's according to Phil Hellmuth. Walk into any poker room and find the guy who looks like he just shit his pants and I bet you half my bankroll he'll tell you he's the unluckiest person on the planet and that the poker gods are always out to get him because Hillary Clinton and the pizza pedophiles are ruining the world and as a result he takes bad beats up the arse nonstop but there's nothing he can do about it because he refuses to play online poker because it's rigged by the Illuminati and infested with Russian hackers and Chinese bots who will do everything to siphon the rest of his virtual bankroll.
Back to Hellmuth... he's up to his old tricks after suffering a bad beat in a cash game. In the latest video from Live at the Bike, recorded on August 30 at the Bicycle Casino on the outskirts of Los Angeles, the Poker Brat sat down to play $25/50/100 with Mike Matusow, Nick, Berry, Big John, Jonas, and Bill.
It's always a fun time playing cash games in SoCal because of the odd sort of characters. Plus in this instance, Mike Matusow is wearing a basketball yarmulke. You hit on all the SoCal stereotypes like the old guy who so's rich but he doesn't dress like it, a guy in a flatbill and hoodie, another with a perfect tan and sick watch, and another old dude getting a massage.
Oh and then there's the man in black himself. Phillip Hellmuth, Jr. sporting his black hoodie and black hat from the Aria plus a PokerGO patch because Hellmuth is a corporate pitchman these days and never leaves home without his black-clad superhero costume.
Hellmuth raised $300 from the button with and almost everyone called. No respect! Hellmuth flopped a gutshot on a 6-5-2 board but everyone checked around. Hellmuth turned a straight when the four of clubs spiked. Everyone checked to him on the button and Hellmuth bet $300. Big John called from the small blind with and holding a Wheel gutterball draw and a 8-high gutter draw. Doyle Brunson loved those double bellybusters back in the day... and so does Big John.
The seven of spades fell on the river. The board read . Big John fired out $1,300.
"You know there's a straight on the board," barked Hellmuth as he counted out $1,300. "But if you're lucky enough to hit it, I guess you deserve it."
Hellmuth called and screamed, "Jesus! What the fuck?! He called $600, I have a made-straight to the seven. Oh my God. What a fucking beat that was. What the fuck? That's so sick. What the fuck just happened? How did I lose that pot? You just got invited back, bro!"
"He called $600 and caught a seven to make an eight-high straight on the river. We can all agree that happened," said Matusow matter-of-factly."
"He called me with an Ace-eight?! Obviously I had the straight because I bet into seven people," said a steaming Hellmuth. "I think you misread your hand. I had a straight. How the fuck did I lose that hand? Some of these hands are so unreal. This is how it used to be in the old days. What the fuck just happened?"
"I'm a feel player," said a sheepish Big John.
"I guess you felt a seven happening," barked Hellmuth.
Of course, Hellmuth uttered some other gems such as...
"Only Phil Hellmuth gets action. They just give me their money."
"You just got invited back, bro!"