Monday March 13, 2017 at 8:28 pm
FUN

Everyone has a list of players they never want to see at the poker table. Whether it's a dangerous pro, a drunken idiot, a habitual tanker, or an insufferable psychopath... we're all aware of players that could be the worst possible nightmare scenario. The crew at PokerStars TV spliced together a new compilation video. This one covers the Top 5 Poker Table Nightmares featuring Phil Hellmuth, Will Kassouf, and Magnus Petersson involved in hands against Phil Ivey, Vanessa Selbst, and Elky.

Top5 HellmuthIvey

Table draw. It's really one of the most vital aspects to poker. Usually players have control over table settings in a cash game. And even if they don't get the right one immediately, they can opt in for a table/seat change. However, once you buy into a tournament, you give up control and have zero say in where you get seated. As a result, you are forced to play with your table. Sometimes those table draws lead to a nightmarish situation. Most of the time it's a treacherous shark you want to avoid.

If you don't have a specific list of undesirables, then you probably have a short list of personality traits or archetypes that you'd prefer to avoid such as people with poor personal hygiene, loud and boisterous table captains, and outright assholes. Then there's the constant whiners and complainers who won't shut the fuck up about everything. And don't get me started about annoying players like tankers who tank on every street for several minutes.

The crew at PokerStars compiled a new Top 5 video featuring the worst poker table nightmares. Some of the nightmare players featured were... Phil Hellmuth, Will Kassouf, and Magnus Peterson. They were involved in hands against notables such as Phil Ivey, Vanessa Selbst, and Elky.

5. The Brat. Of course, the Poker Brat would be included in the mix. You know it's a matter of time before Phil Hellmuth imploded at the table and went off on an opponent. In this instance, Phil Hellmuth and Phil Ivey got involved in a hand on High Stakes Poker. Hellmuth flopped top set with pocket tens and Ivey flopped the joint with 8-6 suited. Ivey's straight held up and Hellmuth lost his marbles after his top set were no good against an inferior hand.

4. The Drinker. Someone got shitfaced in the Bahamas! Shocker, eh? At the 2014 PCA in the Bahamas, Roger Teska became an instant villain for being a drunken lunatic at the tables after consuming numerous Bloody Marys. Madis Murr's pocket Queens were ahead of Teska's J-9 suited. Teska had gotten cut off by the cocktail servers at that point, but he was still trying to play through the intoxication. Teska flopped a pair of nines but Murr's queens held up. Murr value-bet the river and the drunken Teska called. He lost a pot in excess of a million chips and all the drunk guy could say was... "Oooops!"

3. The Motormouth. Will Kassouf and Vanessa Selbst were involved in a hand at the EPT London. The usually quiet Selbst was up against the nonstop British chatterbox. "You want to play a big pot or small pot?" needled Will Kassouf. On an Ace-high board with two hearts, Selbst folded and said "Show the Jack-five." Kassouf showed J-9 off suit for a bluff and then wouldn't shut up about it.

2. The Tanker. The deep-breathing and slow-to-act Gilles Bernies made the final table at the EPT12 Dublin. He'd finish in second place...but the final table took forever due to Bernies' propensity to tank forever on every street. Dzmitry Urbanovich would go on to win the event and the heavy-breathing Bernies finished in second place.

1. The Expert. Back in 2008 at the EPT3 Copenhagen in Denmark, Elky and Magnus Petersson waged war against each other. Elky made a tough call with A-2 and lost a pot against pocket treys. Elky turned trip deuces, but Petersson rivered a full house to win the pot. A gutted Elky lost the hand and as he anguished over the loss, Peterson tossed in a quip that Elky should not play Ace-rag or what he described as "bad Aces." Ouch.

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